Changing Things That Won’t Change

I am writing this as I am pondering on some very difficult experiences. Sometimes we outgrow certain experiences, places, habits, patterns, cycles and relationships. It is so easy for me to forget how normal, healthy and natural this is.

I have found when this outgrowing starts to happen it may not be as easy to express myself as easily or what I am feeling to those around me, without there being feelings of defensiveness or an actual need to defend myself or my perspectives. I find that there is also often unclarity or confusion that will never fully seem to be cleared up, even after attempts to openly discuss things. There may also even be ongoing excuses from others involved.

I’ve noticed another common ‘symptom’ of outgrowth or needing to change an environment is constantly impulsively questioning yourself, by seeking the opinions of everyone above our own thoughts and opinions.

Also, beginning to feel limited in what is possible for you, your future and your potential for happiness. Being left to question whether or not what you are feeling is even valid and ‘right’, solely, because of the people and/or stagnated environments that we are exposed to and can often be boxed in by.

In many ways, we may find that there is an unwillingness for honesty in these spaces, even after true efforts to express your own concerns to others.

In these situations, it is unavoidable to become stagnant or stuck. It may begin to feel like nothing positive happens frequently or at all, and when there is something celebratory that does happen, it is easily overlooked and overshadowed by day to day drama and stresses.

For me, that’s when I know it is time to check in with myself and be very honest with myself. Beginning this process, with curiosity and openness, I may ask: What am I experiencing right now? Why? What is happening?How did I contribute to this? Am I apart of the problem? If so how? How is this feeling to me? Why? Is this weighing on me?

Then, I see what may need to change. – Is it boundaries? Do I need to make a complete 180 in this situation? How can I work around this circumstance to better support myself?

I find myself altering or taking away anything that works against my peace and works against my sense of self and self-trust. This often includes things that are unwilling to grow or change with us, and do not want us to change or grow either.

Trust yourself and your own intuition. It can open more space for new and more loving experiences with ourselves and others, as well as open more awareness for ourselves to notice if we are needing any support.

This is also a helpful reminder for me to reference, when I need to return to listening to myself and assessing if anything can be improved or changed in my life.